Or: A VBS Craft Gone Difficult
There's a scene in Hank the Cowdog where Slim and High Loper are repairing a barn wall.
“What are these little marks between the inches for?” Slim asks High Loper, staring at the tape measure.
“Only brain surgeons use those,” Loper replies.
“Oh.”
Then Slim asks if it’s okay to nail some boards.
“Is it long enough?” Loper asks.
“No.”
“Is it wide enough?”
“Uh, no, not really.”
“Do they touch?”
“Yes, barely.”
“Then nail it! We ain’t buildin’ pianos!”
That’s been a quote in my family ever since, and it became my mother and I’s tag line tonight while up late at the church working to fix and finish a craft the children did at vacation Bible School. Each student had a pie pan full of wet sand, we pressed a wooden cross into the sand, and then they arranged glass stones inside the cross walls. Tonight, Mom and I poured plaster of paris into the cross and over the stones. When the plaster dries, the cross with the glass stones will be lifted out and voila.
Well, the preschool and beginner’s classes didn’t quite get the concept completely (though the book said the craft was for all ages). Some of them smashed their glass stones so far into the cross they collapsed the walls and left craters. Some of them didn’t have the cross impressions deep enough. Some of them just thought it was treasure time and buried their stones in the sand. We didn’t have time to check, or if we did they didn’t have time to redo.
So mother and I had to go through and redo probably 20 of the 28 total (this included the primary and juniors as well). We had to take out the glass stones, rinse them, redo the cross imprint, and then try and remember to a certain extent which stones had gone where. The childish attention spans were obvious. The stones started out arranged in colors and then quickly went random. Those were easiest to fix.
“How’s this?” I’d ask Mom when I repaired one. (Some don't look like what the children did originally. Hopefully they won’t notice.)
“Nail it! We ain’t buildin’ pianos.” She’d respond. And it was onto the next one as we talked shop about politics and sang pieces of jibjab songs. Finally, we were ready for the plaster of paris. That part went okay, except the directions had said the stuff would set in 20 or 30 minutes.
It set in ten.
Mom had to throw out the big batch she’d made and make smaller batches at a time. Plaster of Paris, sand, and water were everywhere but we got it done. Then came cleanup.
The projects themselves don’t look too bad, but some of the ones when we realized the plaster of paris was setting and tried to fix it with spatulas look a little…blurpy.
But, happily, “We ain’t buildin’ pianos.”
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